Hula Hoop method

The hula hoop method is a metaphor used to help individuals reduce stress and anxiety, establish healthy boundaries, and gain a sense of control over their lives. It is a cognitive behavioral tool that helps distinguish between what is within a person's control and what is not. 

The Core Concept: Inside vs. Outside the Hoop

Imagine standing inside a hula hoop that is resting on the ground or around your waist. This circle represents your personal space, boundaries, and responsibility. 

• Inside the Hula Hoop (Your Domain): Everything inside the hoop is under your control. This includes your feelings, actions, choices, reactions, and responsibilities (e.g., what you eat, your daily decisions, your reactions to stress).

• Outside the Hula Hoop (Not Your Domain): Everything outside the hoop is outside your control. This includes other people’s actions (including their words toward you), their moods and feelings, their choices, and their opinions. 

How It Helps Mental Health

• Managing Anxiety and Stress:
  When feeling overwhelmed, this method encourages you to "focus on your own hoop," which reduces anxiety caused by trying to fix situations or people outside your control.

• Establishing Boundaries:
  It helps in identifying when others are trying to push their problems into your space ("playing bumper cars with the hula hoops") and allows you to say "no" or set firm boundaries.

• Letting Go of Resentment:
  The method encourages accepting that you cannot control the outcome of others' lives, often expressed through the saying, "Not your circus, not your monkeys".

• Promoting Empowerment:
  It reminds you that your personal power lies in controlling your own reactions, not in managing the world around you. 

Practical Application

1. Identify the Problem:
   Is the source of your stress something you can directly change, or is it someone else's choice?

2. Locate the Boundary:
   If it's another person's problem, acknowledge it is outside your hula hoop.

3. Focus Inward:
   Ask yourself: "What is my responsibility in this situation?" or "How can I take care of myself within my own hula hoop?".

4. Practice Letting Go:
   If someone is making a bad decision, understand that you cannot reach into their hula hoop to fix it without neglecting your own. 

This method is often used in therapy (such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy aka CBT) and recovery programs to help relieve individuals of stress by letting go of trying to control the uncontrollable and instead focus on self-care and personal responsibility.